It has all happened so fast.
And yes, I totally realize that I am not listening to the common adage about not rushing into the recording of your first podcast.
But it is all so very exciting - I feel like a young schoolgirl again...I mean, for the first time.
You may be wondering how it all started or you may be wondering a variety of other things, how would I know what you are filling your head with if you insist on constantly ignoring my requests?
Well, this fairy tale began, as many of my real and fictitious ones do, on Christmas Day. It's a scheduling nightmare!
My parents, sister and her boyfriend were over helping us create the illusion of a large family gathering. Our girls were literally shredding wrapping paper as well as opening actual presents, while he adults were enjoying watching our two girls opening their gifts while doing their best to not be overly jealous, or at least less jealous than an average day.
Amidst the revelry and squeals of joy, I was rushing trying to get every last part of the elaborate Christmas dinner finished in a timely fashion. While no one was crying for food yet, I was operating on borrowed time as any moment the animals/inmates/sleeping giants would start losing it if their feed wasn't presented to them.
As I was attempting to avoid burning myself and/or the precious food while also giving the impression that I was above carrying about burning anything, my sister turned to speak to me, as she has turned so many times before (143 –I’ve kept track) and exclaimed “You have to start a podcast!”
I didn’t respond right away as I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. I've learned the hard way that if I respond as soon as someone speaks to me, then they will always expect that rapidity of response. It's just not realistic - let's say I'm tired or recovering from dental surgery or involuntarily under the influence of hallucinogens! I also needed time to decode and re-code what she had said only to realize that codes were wholly unnecessary at the moment.
I looked at her, looked away and then looked back just wishing an appropriate song was playing that I could turn in time to. It was an interesting idea and I said as much, but not interesting enough for me to stop cooking dinner for the family and race out into the night, only returning when I had either followed her command or allowed an appropriate amount of time to elapse.
The evening ended and I presented her with a parting gift as is tradition in my family. As "goodbyes" were dramatically spoken, "safe travels" sing-songingly insisted upon and "thank yous" comically mimed, my mind worked overtime. "Me, Tommy Paley, or just Tommy if we are on a first name basis, make a podcast?" I was inclined to ignore the suggestion on principle alone, or at least allow principle to be part of the process.
Many days passed.
It was New Year’s Eve and my sister and her boyfriend had decided to throw a party and we were all invited. While I was seated on the couch in their living room and attempting to remain vertical, my sister mentioned the podcasting thing again and her boyfriend proclaimed to the room (quite regally I must add - remind me to hire that guy for those moments when I need to proclaim something) that “I HAD to do it!” They were nodding their heads in unison and smiling like people who had just been bitten by a non-poisonous snake smile if they had just been told a funny joke.
The idea was still intriguing to me, as it had been the first time it was suggested, only more forcibly this time, I must add. I worried that they would only get incrementally more forceful each time, so I decided to cut my losses and just give in to their demands as I do with door to door salespeople and doctors.
We got home after the party and I instantly Googled "starting a podcast" followed by "cute pictures of kittens" before remembering that I can't multi-task. I was tired and badly in need of sleep and overwhelmed by the foreign languages I had to spend hours learning in order to start a podcast before I decided to cop out and just have the page translated. To call myself a beginner would have been apt. To call myself uninitiated would be correct. To call myself naive would just be unfair and unnecessarily adding insult to injury.
As I lay my pretty head on my slightly prettier pillow that evening I was filled with equal parts resolve, excitement and vegan tofu cheesecake. I had what it took, I was going to do this, it was going to be glorious and the world would finally have to stand up and pay attention to me. Kidding! (Between you and me, that world has zero sense of humour or an interest in any podcast not discussing bluegrass music).
A few days later fate played her hand (I had to wait so long that it felt like I was playing by myself). My long time tall friend and I were having a mutually agreed upon dinner together. As we were taking turned biting our food (two people biting at the same time is WAY too loud if you know what I'm saying), I mentioned my desire to podcast and I will always remember that moment as if lightening struck us as we sat there, eyes locked.
Initially he aggressively insisted on producing me which sounded vaguely like a recurring nightmare I'd been having since I was 12, but after some discussion we realizing that you just can't teach or learn to develop the rapport that we have. Our conversations could be described as "funny" or "fun" or simply "un" if you choose not to use whole words to describe things due to being that busy and important. Excitedly, ideas and suggestions starting flying across the table and room on similar trajectories to the pieces of rice that were also flying.
While we collectively knew very little about how to make podcasts, we more than made up for that with sheer gumption (it had been accumulating for years) and boyish charm. We had a tough road ahead of us, but had a real appreciation for tough roads especially those that lay ahead and didn't require any excessive neck turning. We mentally shook hands and signed lengthy contracts full of non-disclosure and morality clauses before I got in my car and literally drove home.
I checked my pulse. I checked my ego. I checked my coat even though my wife is just not interested in being a coat check girl, but did she really want me to wear my coat inside all the time? That's what I thought. This podcast thing was going to happen. It was about to get real. Really real.
stay tuned for Launching a Podcast: Part 2
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