He and she

He planned to surprise her with a candlelit dinner complete with roses and an exquisite wine in order to sweep her off her feet and, if all went well, to generate enough momentum to also sweep the floors at the same time thus freeing up his morning tomorrow for a light jog.

She laughs at all of his jokes and impressions as they are quite funny and as a way to keep him occupied while she silently and stealthily invades his fort made of couch cushions.

He adores the way she eats and, when he has some time, plans to turn it into a three-act musical comedy about the surrealist artistic movement of the early 20th century.

She is like a beast in the kitchen which explains the amazing five-star entrees, the exquisite desserts and the total and complete mess he spends hours cleaning up afterwards.

He surprised her with a bouquet of flowers at work and performed a long dramatic soliloquy, which was enjoyed by her and her coworkers, up until the moment when he started amorously kissing the wall.

She ironed his shirts with a care and attention to detail that he truly appreciated but that he honestly only expected when she performed ritualistic ancient sword dances that kept him mesmerized to say the least.

He wept uncontrollably and blubbered nonsensically when watching romantic movies which touched her a great deal and gave her multiple ideas for plots in the series of children's books she planned to create in the new year.

She blushes when he leaves her original poems of love in her lunch bag and only wishes that the poems were either a tad bit shorter, less blush-inducing and that he didn't insist on actually making the poems out of her lunch.

He lightly massages her neck after a long tiring day and feels her melt into his hands which momentarily makes him panic as it is reminiscent of a recent series of detailed nightmares he had where she actual melted just before he got around to massaging her neck which left him alone and with no neck to massage.

She often imagines that he is sculpting a life-sized model of her out of soap for purposes unknown to him at this point but with seemingly limitless potential uses  with being unexpectedly cleaner all the time. 

He loves hearing his own voice and, to a lesser degree, the two of them speaking in perfect harmony as it frankly creeps him out a whole lot.

She has taken acting passive-aggressively to whole new heights which just happens to coincide with when he cleaned out the attic and converted it to a reading room.

He opens the car window as she is driving to the airport for their vacation enjoying both the breath of fresh air and the effect the sudden burst of wind has on her hair which had been previously invading his personal space.

She has recently taken to chopping her vegetables more finely making the resulting soup more texturely-pleasing unless you happen to love gnawing on large chunks of vegetables as he famously does.

He notices that his hair is receding and turning gray and while she displays a modest amount of sympathy he can tell that she far more interested in her new ant farm.

She climbs the tree in the park for both the better vantage point and because it is step four in his newly-formulated 12 step program for the two of them.

He goes out of his way never to push her buttons, and when he accidentally depresses one while going about his usual evening routine, he always makes sure that he obeys all of her obscure traffic hand signals afterwards.

She sings songs of love to him in a Spanish that is so broken that if the wrong person heard her and that person also just happened to have a splitting headache at least partially caused by a result of his nails-on-chalkboard nails on a chalkboard as the violin needs tuning and if that person just happened to be their waitress on a weekly basis at the brunch place they frequent then her Spanish omelette would be arrive a tad brown resulting in a slight grimace. 

He planted a tree in her honour as he knew she both appreciated newly-planted baby trees and when he performed tasks in her honour except those done out of spite.

She loves his face and always remembers to tell him so but she has to catch herself before laying on the praise for his ears too thickly as that always results in his feeling both loved and appreciated as well as super self conscious about his larger-than-average ears which is never truly her intent aside from those times after he has gloated too loudly after cooking an undeniably amazing brunch full of her favourite comfort foods.