She Loves to Eat Bowlfuls of Rice

She wears a lot of different shades of green,
Spent her weekend creatively inserting an "I" into team,
Alternates her dinner choices between too fatty and too lean,
Forced her boyfriend to give her his spleen,
Decides when and where to be mean,
And always enjoys her afternoon apple.

She loves to eat bowlfuls of rice,
Puts aside time each night combing for lice,
Answers every question asked of her with "no dice",
Is a lover of grips, especially the vise,
Has vivid dreams as the leader of a colony of mice,
And loves watching the 6 pm news.

She learned to sail on a partially submerged boat,
Has a deep, verging on unhealthy, respect for her goat,
Paid a large fine to the city for digging that moat,
Occasionally wears nothing under her big furry coat,
Would be considered a great pianist if songs had only one note,
And is excited by standing in the rain.

She confusingly refers to her car as a jet,
Charges her father lots of interest on his humongous debt,
Was conceived as a result of her mom losing a bet,
Often rubs against her dog just wanting a pet,
Wrote a quality research paper but got it all wet,
And bounces on her sofa like a child.

She often awakes with a tick and a frown,
Walks alone in the darkness wearing a wedding gown,
When she throws it, she throws it down,
Often mixes up what's a city and what's a town,
Unrelentingly bullied her brother into becoming a clown,
And washes her shirts inside out.

She loves oh so much to hear herself talk,
Won a year's supply of industrial strength caulk,
Hurt the umpire's feelings for calling that balk,
Once slapped herself all night with a celery stalk,
Refers to running as a really fast walk,
And kisses her nose in the mirror.

She often stares up at the moon,
Breaks out her best dance move always around noon,
When asked when she'll be done in the shower she always says "soon",
Aspires to be an ice-skating goon,
Plans to go far, far away sometime, perhaps around June,
And swings so her feet touch the tree.

She spent her summers away at "the camp",
Keeps things painfully bright with the use of a lamp,
When it is wet, she prefers to call things just slightly damp,
Bought a comically-large, reserved-for-special-occasions, red-and-blue stamp,
Replaced all of the stairs in her house with a slippery ramp,
And occasionally sips her milk slowly.

She sprinkles the counter daily with flour,
Never does any activity for exactly one hour,
Always tells anyone who will listen that she "got the power",
As a girl, never built even one single block tower,
Lost the competition when her baked lemon cookies were WAY too sour,
And sings to herself in the mornings.

She responds promptly to the ring of a bell,
Lives according to the rule "don't ask, don't tell",
Believes there is no such thing as too much hair gel,
Always wondered what is up with the farmer in the dell,
To teach herself a lesson, she spent a week in a cell,
And scratches her back when it itches.

She greedily invented all of those hidden fees,
Imagines she is being rightfully chased by killer bees,
Once sang the national anthem with a really harsh wheeze,
On a dare once ate a bowl full of flees,
Sent Santa to the hospital for too tight a squeeze,
And bites her lip when she is nervous.

She lounges at leisure in a kiddie pool,
Balances precariously for hours on top of a stool,
Canvases the streets challenging all comers to duel,
Scorched her mouth on her dinner and soothed it with some raspberry fool,
In the school play she's a typecasted ghoul,
And wears her baseball hat sideways.

She is considered just this side of crazy,

Calls her eye "relaxed"; doesn't like lazy,

Called off the wedding when given a rose not a daisy,

After that weekend in Vegas changed her name briefly to Maisy,

Cleans her glasses only when things start to look hazy,

And dances in front of her mirror.

She was born as the child in the middle,

Broke her violin when she told it was only a fiddle,

Spent a month in silence solving that riddle,

Wishes she could rapidly think of more synonyms for little,

Burnt herself badly when she sat on the griddle,

And takes out books from the library.

She enjoys one or two a tropical drink,
Had an inexplicable desire to melt the ice rink,
Took a poorly-timed break from the surgery to think,
Once lost her job for an inadvertent wink,
Envious of pigs for looking so pink,
And colours outside of the lines.

She is on the lookout for vegetables to mash,
Will change her mind for the right amount of cash,
Proudly shows off her dark purple rash,
Once knocked a guy out when she bat her eyelash
Upstaged her best friend at her birthday party bash,
And smiles for nothing at breakfast.