I always wanted to be a part of the clean plate club. Think about the exciting meetings!
A famous singer on the radio seems to think you can't fix bullet holes with bandages. To which I reply, where is your can-do spirit?
"Look both ways before crossing the street" I was told as a child. To which I always thought "there are only two ways to look?!?"
I'm never fully dressed without a smile? No wonder I feel so light and free!
"Don't bite off more than you can chew", others tell me. I'm sorry, but have you ever heard of sharing?
Toothpaste brands are always so proud that four out of five dentists approve of their product. Well, I can tie up five dentists in my basement too!
A famous singer on the radio seems to think you can't fix bullet holes with bandages. To which I reply, where is your can-do spirit?
"Look both ways before crossing the street" I was told as a child. To which I always thought "there are only two ways to look?!?"
I'm never fully dressed without a smile? No wonder I feel so light and free!
"Don't bite off more than you can chew", others tell me. I'm sorry, but have you ever heard of sharing?
Toothpaste brands are always so proud that four out of five dentists approve of their product. Well, I can tie up five dentists in my basement too!
I don't care how sensitive the situation is, I refuse to spend the better part of the afternoon tiptoeing. Unnecessary strain on my arches.
You finished with flying colours? Nothing like an afternoon painting without ventilation.
A close friend once advised me not to wear my heart on my sleeve. The best dry-cleaning bill in years!
"If you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours?" I guess I didn't waste my money on that backscratcher after all.
I never walk more than a few steps in another man's shoes. A woman's on the other hand, especially if my orthotics fit, can yield much much more.
"Four-eyes" they called me, underestimating me once again.
Growing up, I was never the talk of the town. Towns are much quieter and more into small talk than you'd think.
"Don't count my chickens?" I wasn't going to, but to be honest now you've piqued my interest.
I've been told that I won't know what I've got till it's gone, but I'm not at all confident that I'll even know then.
"If life gives you lemons, make lemonade" said the kind old woman next door when I was young. Sure, but $3 per glass? No thanks!
No pain, no gain? I can't have both?
"My bark is worse than my bite" said my blind date. Use your words!
An entire village was used to raise me. No one got off easy.
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